Shadow Work

I’ve heard the term “shadow work” tossed around in some pagan circles I run in. I never really knew what it was, just that it was something to do with working on yourself. I finally started to looking into it and have decided that I want to embark on a journey of shadow work. I thought it would be nice to share with you guys that I’m started and to check in periodically as I continue down this path.

What is shadow work? There’s a lot of different ways to answer this. The main way people will answer is that it is a journey of self-discovery. It’s based upon the theories of psychologist Carl Jung. He was the first person to propose the idea of a shadow self. He put forth the thought of eight separate archetypes. These archetypes are better explained here. They also talk about some of the basics that you can use to start your journey.

For me, starting out I got a notebook to dedicate specifically to my shadow work. Journaling is a very important part of this process in my opinion. I made a collection of journal prompts. I want to get 100 total prompts. Once I do I may make a list and post it here just in case anyone is interested. And you don’t just have to just write in your journal. Pain or draw pictures to paste in. Or maybe your journal is just a sketch journal or a junk journal where you use art to display the feelings that you get while working on your shadow self.

Two, I prepared myself for the hard work. Shadow work is about understanding the dark side of yourself or the side of yourself that you’re not comfortable with. It’s working through trauma and hardship that you’ve experienced in your life. It’s not easy to do. It’s going to be uncomfortable and you’re going to be forced to deal with your insecurities and your toxic traits (we all have them! It’s okay.). I do recommend that you are in a state of mind that can be honest and as unbiased as possible without fear of tanking your mood or taking a hit to your mental health. If you’re having trouble getting your mind to a safe place your shadow work can start by going to a therapist. I started seeing a therapist and that’s what made me feel stable enough to work on myself in this way.

Three, I started looking for guided meditations about healing my inner self or shadow self. I’m not very good at meditating on my own but I’m going to work on that with this process as well. It’s important that after you do a journal entry that you spend time meditating on how you feel and what you said. Even if it’s just a little five minute processing moment that’s fine. Just give yourself the time to process and digest what you’re writing about and how you’re feeling.

Lastly, find some self-care things you can do. Some of this can be heavy and taking the time to do some self-care to help you come out of that heavy situation. It can be just listening to some music or maybe drinking some coffee or tea. If you need something bigger than that maybe a nice bubble bath while you listen to your favorite podcast. This process is hard and we have to take care of ourselves.

Shadow work doesn’t have to solely be pagan. I will have some pagan-esque prompts in mine but that’s because that’s one of the areas in my life I want to work on. I plan on doing 1 prompt a day for at least 100 days. I can’t wait to see who I am on the other side.

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Severe Weather Readiness

In Oklahoma where we live it’s that time of year again: Tornado Season. I grew up in Arkansas and basically have always lived somewhere in tornado alley. As a survivor of a tornado I have quite a bit of PTSD and take the weather very seriously. We all should. When the tornado hit my little town when I was 12, my family and I were in our bathroom desperately hoping to survive the tornado picking up our house and slamming it and trying to roll us into the road. We managed to make it out safely but it was a close call. Since then I have taken severe weather readiness very seriously.

Severe weather can be scary for adults and especially for children. When severe weather strikes it’s vital that we have a plan and get our kids to act accordingly so that everyone is safe and sound. I’m going to give some tips on how we handled this at my house. This will be tailored for tornado safety and readiness since that’s what we deal with here but some of it all can be applied in all situations.

First things first: time to get the kids to understand what’s going on and what they need to do. This can be difficult with younger kids but I’ve found that kids from about three and up can at least learn what they’re supposed to do when they hear the sirens. I have a five and eleven year old now and both of them know that when the sirens go off then we go to the bathroom. We sit down and cover our heads. With Bobbers we made it a game which helped take down her anxiety about it. We explained that tornados are dangerous so it’s very important to listen to the safety rules. Another thing that helps is that we bring tablets or switches to distract them while the sirens are going on. It distracts the kids from how anxious the parents are.

Now it’s time to pack a safety bag. We usually pack a bag once the warning goes out and we put our stuff in the bathroom. What should you grab? What should be included in your safety bag? I have a checklist for you!

• 1 change of clothes for each family member including underwear
• tennis shoes/sneakers for everyone (sometimes I let go of my no shoes in the house rule and make everyone wear their shoes around)
• wallets/purses
• phone chargers/switch/table chargers
• car keys
• if you have a baby just bring a pack of diapers with you
• baby wipes for baby
• bottles of water
• snacks
• computer (laptop) or phone to watch the weather on
• jackets (optional because it might not go cold afterward but sometimes it does)
• pets in their carriers or on leashes
• a little thing of pet food
• pillows and/or blanket and/or mattresses (helps protect from debris and dirt and you can play peekaboo with younger kids for distraction)
• flashlight (preferably a hand crank one)
• whistle (optional but beneficial for if you’re buried. You can blow it to get help)
• NOAA radio or app

This is just my list. We use a big bag or a suitcase to carry everything and somethings get tossed into a backpack. This is all things I can grab within moments of the watch starting and I take it to the bathroom immediately so it’s there and we don’t have to fuss with it again If you’re somewhere with plug ins don’t be afraid to plug in your phone. You’ll want it as charged as possible. Also, make sure that everyone is in clothing. Not PJs if at all possible. Sometimes we sleep in our clothes just in case.

After you’re packed and ready to take cover it’s important to know where the safe zones. For tornados it’s interior rooms with no windows or an underground shelter. For us, it’s the bathroom because we live in an apartment. For you it might be a bathroom or a closet. Ideally we would have an underground shelter. They’re very worth it investments where I live.

For floods it’s important to get as high up as possible. Have a way to climb up onto the top of your house which usually means keeping an axe with your kit. Don’t swim in flood waters. The water is nasty and typically moving very quickly and you will be swept away. Never try to drive over flood waters. Even if it doesn’t look that deep it typically is very deep and moving very fast. Your car can easily be carried off with you inside of it and once the car starts sinking the likeliness of you surviving is slim.

Earthquakes are hard to prep for. The best you can do is either run outside into an open area or find something sturdy to hide under like a table.

I’ll admit that I’m not an expert. I did do some emergency management classes in college and I have considerable real life experiences with disasters including blizzards, tornados, and minor earthquakes. I hope my advice is helpful to you. If you have any personal tips please share them with a comment! I always want to learn more.

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CDI Playtime Ideas

In my last post I talked about Child Directed Interaction (CDI). It’s something that we learned in Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT). It is a way to connect with your child and the skills you learn with it are skills that you can take with you into other areas of your life. The connection you make with your child through it is also invaluable when it comes to your relationship with them.

Since we know about CDI, what we’re supposed to do, and why it is a useful skill to have in your life one question remains: What do we play?

There’s a few guidelines to follow when it comes to what is acceptable during your five minute special playtime. Firstly, no games like Sorry, Uno, or Candyland. The reason for this is we don’t want to have to correct their behavior directly and we don’t want a lot of rules binding what you’re supposed to do. This is because we want to make the inter action positive and lots of rules and competitive situations are not good for that.

Secondly, nothing that limits your interaction or takes up all the attention. What I mean is no reading books or video games. Things like that, while they’re fun and are good for other times, take all the chance to interact with your child because your attention is absorbed in what you’re doing. We want to create opportunities to speak and to praise.

So what are we looking for? The most common things in our house blocks or coloring. Both give us great chances to describe behavior, give labelled praise, and reflect what they say. Those are the three main goals for us when we’re having CDI time. The most important thing is to let your child pick. You can give them two options and let them go back and forth between the two as they want.

Other good ideas are dolls or figures, playdough, sensory sand, or sometimes things like dolls and doctor. We did a combo of doctor and dolls where we’d let Bobbers be the doctor and we were the nurse helping fix the baby up. We were able to describe her behavior and reflect what she said was wrong with the baby. It was really fun.

Which leads me to the most important part of CDI. Well, the two most important things. Firstly, be fully invested. Set the phone aside. Be just as excited to play as your child. Really engage with them and you’ll be reaping the benefits. And last, have fun! We look forward to special playtime every day and so does Bobbers.

Child Directed Interaction

Since we started Parent Child Interaction Therapy I’ve gotten a lot of new tools to utilize in my parenting and I”m going to share my favorite part with you: Child Directed Interaction a.k.a. special playtime. At first glance it may seem strange and maybe even difficult. The benefits are subtle at first but ultimately I can see a big difference in not only Bobbers’ behavior but also the way she and I interact.

So what is CDI? We refer to it as special playtime because that’s what it is. It’s an easy five minutes a day where we play together. During this time there’s a few things to remember.

First, NO QUESTIONS. This was really hard for me at first and I imagine it’ll be hard for everyone because I didn’t know what my child wanted me to do but as you continue practicing you’ll start to be able to understand your kid without needing questions. The reason we don’t ask questions is because it can take your child out of the playing and shifts the focus to answering questions rather than playtime.

Secondly, NO NEGATIVE TALK. By negative talk we mean things like “No”, “Don’t do that”, and “Stop.” We want this interaction to be positive. Instead of saying no we practice redirection. Let’s say for playtime you are playing with cars and your child starts disruptively smashing the cars together. That is not ideal behavior and we will be naturally tempted to say stop. Instead we redirect and say something like, “I’m going to play gently with my toys so I don’t break them.” Children naturally want to do what their parents are doing and often times it’s as simple as saying what you’re doing to get the to redirect. When they do stop the disruptive behavior make sure to thank them for playing gently with their toys.

Finally, NO COMMANDS. This is child directed so we don’t need to give commands.As mentioned above if the child starts to stray from the activity we just redirect. We want the kid to be in charge for a little bit.

Now it’s time to get into what you should do during these five minutes of play time. It’s important to remember the following things: Labelled praise, behavior description, and reflection. These keep your child engaged with the play and lets them know you’re focused too.

For labelled praises we thank them and compliment them for doing behavior that we want to see, especially if they’re doing something they typically have trouble with. For my little one sitting in the chair and being still is very hard for her so when she’s sitting for a few moments I say, “Thank you for sitting in your chair so well while we play”. Her face always lights up and she will give a happy little wiggle. It’s important to label the praises so they know specifically what you’re wanting. You can also praise them for stacking blocks or maybe drawing and coloring in. Just depends on what you selected for playtime.

Behavior description and reflection go very much hand in hand. Behavior description shows you’re paying attention and can be a good way to broaden vocabulary and teach them in a natural way. When it’s time to give a description you’ll say things like “you’re coloring with the blue crayon” or “you have a red block”. This is a great way to learn colors and words. Even now I catch Bobbers’ describing the behavior she sees so you know she’s paying attention. This was the hardest one for me because I felt awkward at first but now it’s coming more naturally.

As for reflection when you’re child says something like “Look this block is blue” you reflect back with “You do have the blue block.” It’s the easiest part because you’re just repeating back what the child is saying. It’s important to reflect because it tells them you’re paying attention to not just what they’re doing but also what they’re saying. It keeps them engaged and it brings you closer.

So what is the ultimate benefit of all this work for five minutes of daily playtime? That’s easy, you master these skills for playtime and you’ll find yourself doing it outside of playtime. You start praising behavior you want to see rather than just scolding what you don’t. You start reflecting and behavior describing without thinking about it and suddenly there’s less fights. Your child might start a negative behavior but then they stop and redirect themselves. Or they reflect back to you when you’re wanting them to do something. It’s such a useful thing for us as parents to utilize. In my next post I will go over some activities for special playtime. In the meantime, consider how this could work for your family. Tell me what you think.

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Chores Galore

Ah, the daunting task of getting kids to do their chores. Every parent dreads it because they remember growing up and having to do it and they hated it. Often times, we were given more chores as punishments which only deepened the resentment we feel doing these necessary tasks. And I don’t want my kids to have to be forced to do things and create that same bad dreading feeling I got.

All kids need chores. This is true. You have to teach them how to clean up and wash dishes and run a vacuum. You have to teach kids everything they need to know to be released into the wild without you there to care for them and that can start very young.

We’ve found that starting young is absolutely better. I met my bonus kid when she was five. She wasn’t a bad kid (still isn’t) but her mother did everything for her so she didn’t know how to do age appropriate tasks like dress herself without help, put on her shoes or even pick up her trash to throw away. Now, when she’s at our place she’s much better. She doesn’t behave as well for her mom and she always asks what I did and I always say I don’t know but I do know. We set an expectation and they follow it.

Chores in our house aren’t divided up by person or anything. We have a big cleaning day usually once a week and in between do things like clean the kitchen and do dishes and some laundry during the week. But every saturday evening I have the girls properly clean their room. No just pushing things to make a walk way. Everything where it goes. Surprisingly this makes it easier.

Another thing we do is we don’t give vague commands. I don’t even like referring to them as commands. Basically, you can’t just tell a kid to clean a room. Not at first anyway. Clean is a bit vague. What they call clean we might not. So what’s best is to tell them step by step. So I say go clean your toys up. I wait, telling them thank you for doing it when I asked. After the toys I might say, now get all the clothes off the floor and into the laundry basket. That’s gotten really good for my kids because they both get overwhelmed by such broad requests.

We also don’t use chores as punishments. It’s never been used as “You didn’t listen now you have to do the dishes.” That just gives negative association which is why we all dread it so much. Instead we teach our daughters that everyone has a role to play in the family. It takes all of us doing our fair share to keep things running smoothly. At times, that just means they pick their toys up or clear away the table after dinner. Because there’s no negative association there’s no fights about it. They don’t get attitudes.

And here’s the thing: kids want to help. Especially when they’re little. My five year old loves helping fold laundry and tries to wipe counters and everything if she sees me cleaning. Instead of fussing that she’s doing it wrong or telling her to go I let her and if it’s not perfect then oh well. She’s five but she helped and got positive attention so she’ll do it again.

Like this morning, my stepdaughter made her bed. She’s never done this independently before and I never asked her too because I never make my bed. But I still noticed it and I told her she did a good job for taking the initiative and doing that. You should have seen how her face lit up at being praised for taking the time to do something good without thinking of being rewarded.

Now I’m not saying this method is perfect. Gods know it doesn’t work for my little heathens all the time but I’d say about 80% of the time they listen without much compliant. Even if they clean while bitching about doing it, that’s fine too.

To sum up, get the kids involved in your cleaning. They want to help and they want to feel apart of the household and part of feeling like you belong somewhere is taking care of that place and being included in it’s care.

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Natural Consequence Parenting

What is natural consequence parenting? It pairs well with positive discipline and gentle parenting. It’s a parenting style where you let children suffer the natural consequence of a choice. A lot of people misconstrue it with permissive parenting because you’re not going to be screaming or spanking your child. This isn’t the case.

My favorite example for how this works is the spilled milk dilemma. Kids spill things and sometimes our first reaction is shout “This is what happens when you’re not careful!” or “What are you doing? How dare you spill something!” While it’s a knee jerk reaction it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. With natural consequence we try to think about if they were an adult what would be the consequence. Adults certainly won’t be spanked or punished for knocking over a cup. The natural result for an adult is that they clean it up and tell themselves to pay better attention. With NCP we give the child the chance to figure out how to fix a mistake (and sometimes we have to prompt them when they’re little and that’s okay!). Then we let them fix it.

But what about when they break rules? What about when they hit or just don’t obey what I say? What are the natural consequences for that?

Firstly it depends on the behavior. If they’re hitting because their frustrated some calm down time may be in order. Let them have a moment to calm and then talk about how you can redirect that energy somewhere else. We have to remember kids are still learning how to process their feelings and don’t always make the best choices. We have to teach them how to handle it and let them know why hitting isn’t allowed.

What about when they flat out ignore me? The best way to handle it is to find the consequence they’d face as an adult. Once, we asked my stepdaughter to keep her little sister entertained while her dad and I put together her new bed. Her sister was about two at the time, not hard to keep busy. After that we were going to help her clean her room and then make dinner. But, Phoenix didn’t even try to keep her sister busy. Because we were having to constantly stop and handle Bobbers and Phoenix both it took much longer to get the bed done so what did we do? We explained to Phoenix that she was going to have to pick up her room alone while we made dinner. She wasn’t very happy with that but it was the natural consequence of her choices. We haven’t have much of a problem since when we ask her to keep her sister busy for a few minutes.

Once you start looking at situations and say, what would happen if they were an adult doing this? Of course we can’t let this happen in every situation but there’s a lot that we can allow. Kids are smart and they learn best with patience and time. As an adult I can’t remember the last time I was yelled at for something small or grounded for not cleaning my room. My kids clean their room because if not, some toys can get broken or someone can get hurt. Did it take a few of those moments to really make them understand? Yeah of course it did. (it’s also important that if you’re using this approach you don’t replace the broken item. They just have to go without it)

NCP has been a great style for my household. Especially because I have such a headstrong daughter. She works best when you sorta let her figure it out. It also helps with problem solving. If we don’t let them think now, they won’t in the future.

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They’re How Many Years Apart?

As you know, I have two kids. One my biological daughter who just turned five and the other my stepdaughter from my partner’s first marriage who is 11. When I tell people about the age gap they’re always so surprised to find out that my girls absolutely adore each other. It is honestly a surprise to me because I had two younger siblings and my brother and I were six years apart and we hated each other because I was “too big” to play with him.

That’s not to say that there aren’t trials and things we have trouble with when it comes to the age difference. My oldest, Phoenix, is into different things. She’s able to do a lot more than my five year old. Bobbers wants to be just like her sister but there’s things she can’t do and that sometimes upsets her a lot. They share a room and Bobbers is the one in there ninety percent of the time. Trying to juggle a room that can accommodate them both is very difficult and it has been since the start.

When Bobbers first started getting around Phoenix’s obsession was hatchimals. If you don’t know what they are they were tiny easy to swallow creatures you hatch from eggs. She also would be gifted legos or other equally as small items. We’d have to put them where Bobbers couldn’t get it which would mean either Phoenix wouldn’t be able to get it or she’d forget about it without ever getting to play with it. Now that Bobbers is older that isn’t as much of a problem but we’re down to them being into different things again. Well sort of.

Both of them are girly, Kawaii girls. Which I can live with. The trick is finding that middle ground where they don’t have to be given the exact same thing. My sister and I were two years apart and I hated having to share my gifts with her while my little brother didn’t have to share like that. I’m so against it that I had asked permission from Phoenix to get her a matching nightgown for her and her sister for children’s night. She obviously agreed because she loves her sister and they looked so cute.

But what do I do when they aren’t being little angels? Patience is the first step. Realizing that they’re both learning how to communicate and they are both children. Phoenix doesn’t have to suck it up and Bobbers doesn’t always get her way because she’s little. We fumble through the happy medium as much as possible. One very controversial rule we have in our house is they don’t have to share.

Not many of their toys are shared between them given the age difference. What is Phoenix’s is hers. She doesn’t have to give anything over to Bobbers if she doesn’t want to. Same with Bobbers. If it’s hers, it’s hers. Letting them set boundaries for their personal property has been a massive help.

But what about their shared items? That’s easy too. Who ever had it first has it until they’re done and you wait your turn. I never understood why parents see a kid trying to take a shared toy and let the kid who tried to take without asking the toy and essentially punishing the kid who was just trying to play. Sure, they’re not always happy about having to take turns but it’s good practice for life.

They’re not always a joy. They have spats. Sometimes Bobbers hits or Phoenix gets too rowdy but at the end of the day I think two things make their relationship better: they have personal property they don’t have to share and two, I don’t make/let Phoenix parent her. I was parentified at a very young age and I one thousand percent believe that that is what hurt my relationship with my younger siblings. I was having to be a parent and discipline while still being young.

Do you have kids with a large age gap? How do you handle them? What are your tips?

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Be Nice To Garbage Men

In January my daughter is starting homeschool. I’ve mentioned a few time that we’re doing a year round schedule so that she’ll start in January rather than August. I’ve discussed a few times what we are going to do approach wise and I’m sure that some of that will shift as we actually get into the swing of things. But one thing that I know will always be included is Moral Education.

Now what is moral education. I first came across the concept when I was looking at how different countries handle their schooling and what subjects they include and when. I specifically looked at places that have higher educational scores. I came across moral education when I was studying Japan’s school system.

Believe it or not, the first six years of school for Japanese students is mainly about moral education and then setting up the basics for them to continue on as they move through school. A few other facts about Japan is that everyone is very respectful and they are notorious for cleaning up after everyone and having very responsible well mannered children. Obviously no place is perfect but this was something I wanted to figure out how they do it. It simply came down to the focus of moral education from the time kids are born.

In school, Japanese children are expected to clean up the school, assist with lunches in some places. They’re taught to cook, sew, and recycle. They are taught the importance of respecting everyone from the man who picks up trash to the CEO of a company. They all have important jobs and that the children will one day have important jobs that contribute to the society.

I did a post a while back about the African proverb of “A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.” And moral education is sort of an extension. In America we live in a very “Me” driven society. While that’s not necessarily bad it’s not the best. We all contribute in some way and each way is important.

We’ve already started some moral education with Bobbers. It’s simple stuff that happened out in the wild. We were waiting for our ride after her therapy and the garbage truck came by. Seeing the opprotunity I explained to her that they have a very important job and we should always respect them because they help keep our city clean. She was very excited about it and yelled out a thank you. It was cute. Then another time we were out and saw a service dog. She wanted to pet but I stopped her. I said you see that vest? That means he’s a service dog. He’s working and we can’t pet him because if he gets distracted his owner might be hurt. We don’t pet them. And man did she take it to heart. We’ve seen more since and she always says, “Papa look! A working dog. We can’t pet him. He’s working.”

Moral education focuses on how we fit into the world and all the pieces that come around. It focuses on laying a good foundation for wrong and right. Empathy. Love and respect for nature and others. Recycling. Good hygiene and cleaning being a proper task to help contribute and not some awful chore you receive as a punishment (because no joke I was subjected to many chores as punishment and I struggle to do them because they have a negative association in my mind).

It is a good plan to follow. I want my kids to succeed and have the best moral foundation I can lay to them. Once I get the chance I’ll upload my moral education plans to share with all of you. She should be starting school on the 8 since her sister is going to school that day too.

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Christmas Magic vs. Honesty

As you know in our house we don’t celebrate Christmas. We are pagans and instead practice the twelve days of Yule but because Christmas is so mainstream and my bonus kid is from a Christian background on her mom’s side I am still faced with the biggest holiday dilemma: Santa Claus

Now the notion of Santa isn’t harmful on the surface. It makes the holiday fun for kids and for adults. Here’s the thing though, I am sure most of us remember the exact moment we found out Santa wasn’t real as it was one of the most heart breaking times in our childhood. I had all of that ruined for me because my parents got into an argument and my stepfather decided to make me cry. That’s another story though. Even the most average of backgrounds will have the “traumatic” moment of finding out Santa is just your mom and dad.

According to some studies, finding out that Santa isn’t real is equivalent of a family member passing away. It causes the same amount of grief and heart ache. So how can we avoid this? How does my family avoid this? It’s simple. We tell them the truth.

But you’re probably looking at your screen and wondering why I decided to kill the magic right out the gate. Before you get up in arms too much let me explain. My stepdaughter whole heartily believes in Santa and I won’t be the one to break that to her. She is 11 now so she’ll be finding out soon enough. Bobbers though is only five and she’s starting to understand a lot of the traditions. Since we don’t open our presents on Christmas, rather we open on the 31st, we told Phoenix that Santa hands the gifts off to Odin or Thor since he only works on Christmas. She accepted that pretty well since it kept the illusion of Santa.

With Bobbers I explained to her that Santa wasn’t real but rather pretend. Like Spider-man or Elsa. Something not being real has never stopped a child from enjoying it. We told her that we pretend to be Santa and put the presents out and that the guys at the mall and stuff aren’t really Santa but they dress up like we do for Halloween. Bobbers accepted that very well. She might not fully understand yet but as she gets a few years older she’ll understand more and more and I don’t want to ruin the magic but I want the magic to come from honesty.

As the Year Ends

It’s coming up on the end of the year. For Norse Pagans and a lot of other pagans, its the business time of year. Starting on the 20th we have a themed night every single night. I’m writing it on the 21 so we’ve had two days of Yule. It was mothering night and the night of the wild hunt. I’ll be posting each of night on the night they’re due. Before i get to the mothering and hunt night traditions I want to touch on something that’s coming no matter what you celebrate. New years. A million people saying New Year New Me. Or making resolutions they damn well can’t keep but it’s all in good fun.

Unless you’re a pagan. In our practice we make wish by writing them on a bay leaf and then burning it. For Norse Pagans, these oaths we take have to be fulfilled. They are bond witness by the gods and to back out of that is asking for bad things to come at you. I haven’t decided what my oaths will be this year but I take the seriously and I want to follow through with them and I don’t want to disrespect the gods.

But more on wising in a later post. I’m here to talk about the first two nights of Yule: Mothering Night and The Night of the Wild Hunt.

Mothering night is a bit of a weird one for us. Slade and I are both men but I am trans so in a way I am a mother. Loki could be honored for he gave birth to a horse. I personally prefer to be celebrated on fathers night. And this is not limited to people who have given birth. It’s for moms who adopted, aunties who were always close to. An older cousin that’s more of a mother to you than your own mom. We honor mothers alive and passed. If you want to honor the ones that have past or arent’ there at the time you can leave a picture of them on the shrine or table. Along with the women in our lives we also lay honor to Freya, the goddes of the home and fertility and the Disir, ancestral mother, for without them there would be no us. We leave a plate of chocolate crinkle cookies out for them to share an partake with us. I always cook what ever my friend Mel wants. She’s absolutely tribe for us and I like showing her how much we appreciate her. I will also spend time with Freya alone. I write her a letter to keep in my book of shadows. I look forward how they grow over time. How I will change in my walk with her and other gods.

The Night of the Wild hunt isn’t as chaotic as mothering night can be. Rather this is a somber evening. We make some home made loaded potato soup and scatter oats (Bobbers loved that part) as offerings to Odin and his horsemen. The night the wild hunt we will venture out as little as possible. the windows will be shut and covered so none of the riders will see us. Also we won’t be looking up if it’s dreary or night time because you are likely to catch a glimpse of your demise and will go crazy. Then we just relaxed in our house. We’re going to start a new tradition that on the night of the wild hunt we’ll all sleep down in the floor or on the couch or on the recliner. We even drug one of the futon mattresses out. It’s going to be a blast. Maybe next year we’ll plan a couple games. That sounds like a good idea.

How do you practice? I’d love to know. Every family does thing differently .

Thanks for reading
Castor